ill begotten cheese starring in "kreamery karma"
last week i realized i am completely immoral. also cheap. the agents of my downfall?
a block of cheese and a bottle of lotion. after leaving the grocery store i noticed that i had accidentally left the store without paying for a block of extra sharp cheddar cheese that would have cost $2.19. i remembered the price because it was the cheapest i could find. so i'm standing in the rain in the dark parking lot after spending an hour in the store and i rationalize that i am sick and tired and it's only $2.19. on the way home i try to think of ways i can make up for it the next time i shop, like buy something i don't need or not use a coupon i normally would and lame things like that. then i forget about it. once home, with groceries unloaded i start looking at my receipt. i notice that they charged me regular price ($7 something) for a bottle of lotion when it should have been on sale for $4 something. i actually start wondering if it's worth going back sometime to get reimbursed for the $3. wondering when i could go and if it was worth it and stuff like that. but seriously considering it. as $3 is money and money can be exchanged for goods and services and i like goods and services. then i cringe as i suddenly recall only 20 minutes earlier when i couldn't be inconvenienced to walk from the parking lot back into the store to pay for two dollars and nineteen cents worth of cheese. so i am a thief and a total cheapskate. but it is good to know where i stand. i am able to rationalize dishonesty and accidental but outright thievery, passiveness and moral flexibility when it serves my interests and selective pursuits of "justice" when it doesn't. i've always been the sort of person that looks at receipts to see if there are errors, but now i know that i do that to make sure i am not getting screwed, not to ensure overall fairness but only fairness for myself. it seems i don't mind if i am screwing the other guy. i can think about the corporation vs. the "poor" college student and such, but i still think it is revelatory and really shitty. i've always thought of myself as honest, but that appears to be quite gradient and flexible honesty doesn't really seem to be worth much. i am not paying for the cheese or getting reimbursed for the lotion. i will eat the delicious, dishonest cheese and moisturize my skin with the overpriced, smug lotion. i know this is a lame story and unimportant in a lot of ways but i've been thinking about it a lot.
a block of cheese and a bottle of lotion. after leaving the grocery store i noticed that i had accidentally left the store without paying for a block of extra sharp cheddar cheese that would have cost $2.19. i remembered the price because it was the cheapest i could find. so i'm standing in the rain in the dark parking lot after spending an hour in the store and i rationalize that i am sick and tired and it's only $2.19. on the way home i try to think of ways i can make up for it the next time i shop, like buy something i don't need or not use a coupon i normally would and lame things like that. then i forget about it. once home, with groceries unloaded i start looking at my receipt. i notice that they charged me regular price ($7 something) for a bottle of lotion when it should have been on sale for $4 something. i actually start wondering if it's worth going back sometime to get reimbursed for the $3. wondering when i could go and if it was worth it and stuff like that. but seriously considering it. as $3 is money and money can be exchanged for goods and services and i like goods and services. then i cringe as i suddenly recall only 20 minutes earlier when i couldn't be inconvenienced to walk from the parking lot back into the store to pay for two dollars and nineteen cents worth of cheese. so i am a thief and a total cheapskate. but it is good to know where i stand. i am able to rationalize dishonesty and accidental but outright thievery, passiveness and moral flexibility when it serves my interests and selective pursuits of "justice" when it doesn't. i've always been the sort of person that looks at receipts to see if there are errors, but now i know that i do that to make sure i am not getting screwed, not to ensure overall fairness but only fairness for myself. it seems i don't mind if i am screwing the other guy. i can think about the corporation vs. the "poor" college student and such, but i still think it is revelatory and really shitty. i've always thought of myself as honest, but that appears to be quite gradient and flexible honesty doesn't really seem to be worth much. i am not paying for the cheese or getting reimbursed for the lotion. i will eat the delicious, dishonest cheese and moisturize my skin with the overpriced, smug lotion. i know this is a lame story and unimportant in a lot of ways but i've been thinking about it a lot.
posted by casual ninja at 2:45 AM
3 Comments:
if you need to render this blog questionably funny, please substitute adult diapers and potted meat food product for the items in question. or a box of teabags and a package of fancy souse.
You disgust me. Have fun eating your lie cheese, shoplifter. But seriously, folks, stealing is one of life's pleasures. Just last week, I stole a Christmas ham, a Thanksgiving turkey, America's hearts, and a cadaver from the university.
And that cadaver is going to make us a fine Thanksgiving dinner, along with a spicy relish made from America's hearts. America relish: its the best.
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